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|REMEMBER BEFORE EMBARKING ON A NEW DIET OR PLAN YOU SHOULD ALWAYS CONSULT A DOCTOR.
IF YOU HAVE BEEN EATING POORLY, A COLON CLEANSER BEFORE STARTING A DIET IS A GREAT WAY TO
CLEAN OUT THE EXTRA 3LBS - 8 POUNDS OF FECES STUCK IN YOUR COLON ON YOUR WALLS.
CLEAN THAT OUT AND START YOUR ZODIAC DIET FRESH.. OR ANY OTHER DIET YOUR STARTING...
AND SEE HOW
INCREDIBLE RESULTS MUCH MUCH MUCH FASTER... DID I SAY MUCH FASTER..
GOOD LUCK, STAY STRONG.
CLICK HERE TO READ MORE ABOUT THE COLON CLEANSER.
|OH MY GOODNESS HOW DID THIS HAPPEN??
How one festive day of diet naughtiness can hex your scales.
This drama begins with Herb making a simple visit to a local bakery to pick up a gourmet pie that he
knows his visiting Aunt FAY will love; chocolate crème meringue dusted with chocolate sprinkles. Perfect choice - she'll love it!Next stop, the corner deli. Oh my,
they have a gazillion goodies spread out today to choose from, so Herb takes a pint of potato salad, a pint of beans, a roasted duckling that looks extra succulent,
and a loaf of rosemary bread embossed with an exquisite fan-pattern of fresh rosemary. Auntie will be pleased!
Almost forgot that sparkling bottle of bubbly to celebrate her visit.
Herb whistles a happy tune as he heads for home. Aunt Thelma should be there; he sent her an extra key to his apartment in the mail last week, as he knew he'd
still be at work when she arrived.Oh my, what's this? A note taped to the door? Looks like Auntie's handwriting, too.
"My dearest Herbert, please forgive me. The apartment maintenance man dropped in to fix your leaky sink and well, one thing lead to another. We're off to
Vegas to tie the knot, sweetie. I'm not getting any younger, nor prettier for that matter. Forgive me. I was cursed with passion. Aunt FAY "Herb spends the next two
hours munching on the luscious deli offerings, topping off his munching with a nice slice of fresh baked pie. It was so tasty that he helped himself to another
generous slice, silently scolding himself for he'd taken in an enchilada luncheon that had included two baskets of chips and four containers of hot sauce.
That blasted praline had sure been good, too.
He'd planned to go light on dinner, promising himself to drop a bit of weight before the summer heat settled in. Tomorrow.
He gazed at the coffee table where he had arranged his mini-feast. It looked a bit like a giant mouse had foraged the area. Hum, what happened to the
duckling? Surely he hadn't eaten it all? Bread was missing, too. Beans? Potato salad? All gone. My, he'd eaten everything except one last slice of the heavenly
pie. Well, he'd save that for breakfast and begin his diet anew after that.
Auntie had delivered an unsightly blow and it was okay to be diet naughty for one night, wasn't it?
Herb ended up drinking half the bottle of calorie-rich bubbly then fell into bed without a shower.
Oh, donkeys and carts! That alarm clock had never sounded so loud before. Herb ambled out of bed trying to focus as he headed towards the bath. Must weigh
first. He tried to make out the numbers on the scale but they remained fuzzy.
Then suddenly, they spun into clarity and Herb almost had a coronary (or a hiatal hernia-type reaction at minimum).
A seven pound gain?? Nah. Herb stepped off the scale, then lumbered back on again. No change.
Then he bounced on the scales. He cursed the scales using PG-13 rated curse words.
How? Seven pounds in one day? Impossible!!!
We are happy to report that Herb took a shower, avoided that last slice of naughty pie, choosing to give it to his wonderful assistant at work instead. He was also
very diet nice from this point on out, went on to lose enough weight so that he looked very smart in his black Speedo swimsuit when summer hit. Auntie went on
to become a well-known celebrity on a nationally televised cooking show. Her specialty, chocolate crème meringue pie. The End.
WAIT!! We aren't quite finished yet! Let's tackle that seven-pound overnight weight gain. Was that indeed a seven-pound fat wad? No! In order for Herb to gain
seven pounds in one day, he would have to eat a surplus of almost 25,000 calories! So, why did he experience such a tremendous weight gain?
- Sodium intake greatly influences the number on the scale. Delbert the Deli Man is famous for injecting his succulent ducklings with a sodium-rich baste. And
you can safely bet that those enchiladas weren't sodium-free.
- Herb feasted until well into the evening. That 'duck load' was still with him.
- The seven pounds may have been the result of a combination of circumstances - even a trio of circumstances. Part of the gain may have actually been bona
fide; Herb may have picked up a few pounds due to a few days of overeating.
The good news. If Herb had been female he may have experienced an even greater number on the scale due to monthly water retention.
So, if this happens to you, don't panic. What can you do? Get back on track and stay there! Remember, perseverance is the key to success. You can do this!
Are you monkeying around with your diet? Losing weight one week, but going ape the next? Or, are you the Top Banana in Diet World this week?
If your diet is beginning to feel like a monkey on your back, this fun article may
alter your mind into thinking that your diet is actually more fun than a barrel of monkeys!
In the beginning....
It seemed so long ago when you began your new diet. How could three weeks have passed so swiftly? Yes, so very long ago.
You can remember back to the day when you decided that it was definitely time to begin a new diet.
It was the day that you felt like the Silver-Backed Ape, the day that you longed to swing more freely in this big bad world that we are all caged inside of.
Yes, you wanted to be a real swinger - to hit the concrete jungle with a lighter step, to be able to
climb the corporate ladder to higher salary caps, and to finally lose all that weight that was interfering with your swinging gait!
And you were doing so well, too. Passed right by those chocolate covered candies on Valentine's
Day; even turned up your nose at the pastry tray at the in-laws party that you attended last Thursday night.
Then something so wrong happened.
As the weekend sprung, you felt as if you'd stepped onto a tilt-a-whirl and someone had forgotten to fasten you in.
You felt locked in a state of shock as naughty, unhealthy goodies leaped into your mouth, one after another, and you were powerless to do anything.
How could this be happening?
And the more that you tried to fight against it all, the worse it got!Fine. Okay. You screwed up big time. Let's dig a bit deeper into the pile of banana peels to
get in touch with some things that are probably running rampant through your mind right now.
EMOTIONAL TABLE - WHEN THINGS SUDDENLY GO APE
"I have totally blown my diet!"
Not necessarily. If you give up on your diet, then yes. But if you jump right back on the Diet Trail,
then NO WAY! You will be a few days behind 'schedule' in reaching your goal weight, but reach it you
will! Just don't step on any more loose banana peels!
"I am really angry & disappointed at myself!"
Actually, that's a very good feeling to have right now. Why? Because it means that:
a) you truly care about losing weight;
b) you realize that you need to get right back on track for your diet dream to work.
"I bet I gained a gazillion pounds!"
Oh, very good! You are accessing the diet damage. You realize how hard that you have worked in
getting off the weight, and in staying on track. By the way, if your eating frenzy was short-lived, the
odds are slim that you gained back a big sum of weight. Keep in mind that it takes 3,500 calories to
gain a pound. That's a lot of frenzy and about 7 big cheeseburgers.
"I am frightened that this diet might fail, just like all the others that I have been on!"
Excellent! Your fears express your intense desire to lose the excess weight. You also feel
intimidated by food, unsure if you will be able to resist future temptation. You have met the Ultimate
Weight Demon and faced him (or her) straight on. Scary, isn't it?
The key is not only knowing the enemy, but knowing how to defeat the enemy. Victory comes
through smart dieting, reasonable activity, and much patience.
"Everyone knows that I am on a diet. What are they going to say?"
Friends, family and the people that love you, will offer support and motivation. Others may gloat,
especially if they see a weight gain.
It's the Monkey Game - every monkey wants to be the best and they feel comfortable around people
that they don't feel threatened by.
"What am I going to do now?"
You must immediately get back on track to avoid a total Diet Derailment.
Okay, let's see if we can sum this up and get ourselves out of this zoo we've landed into.
It's not much fun when you monkey around with your diet, is it? HOWEVER, it's good to know that you
are NOT a failure! It's good to know that you CAN lose the weight that you want to. And it's really
great to know that if you get right back on track, your odds of achieving your weight goals are very high.
The Emotional Table above gives us great insight into our dieting and weight loss fears. Let's take
things one bullet at a time and enhance. Let's try to see how we change our current "Bad
Self-Shredding Thoughts" into some "I Love Me Thoughts". Don't you just love enhancements?
Negative "I have totally blown my diet!"
Positive "I went ape, but thank goodness I recognize what I did in time so that I didn't totally blow my diet!"
Negative "I am really angry & disappointed at myself!"
Positive "I don't want to feel disappointed over my diet again. I want to feel like I did when my I first
noticed that my clothes fit looser."
Negative "I bet I gained a gazillion pounds!"
Positive "I am going to lose 1-2 pounds THIS week."
It is SO IMPORTANT to set TINY goals throughout your diet to help keep you on track. In my
experience with the people that I've assisted in losing weight over the years, this was one key to
weight loss success. By establishing several SMALL goals, you'll enjoy several accomplishments, several Diet Celebrations!
Take a minute to ponder this.... Most everyone has seen the weight loss commercials on TV. Some
trim lady named Judith or Tammy dressed in a pastel-colored lycra body suit will look directly into the camera, smile, and say, "I lost 64 pounds in 32 weeks!"
Notice the word "WEEKS". She didn't say EIGHT MONTHS. Judith and Tammy are using 'mind games'.
And mind games of this nature are actually very good to use! So I want you to use mind games while
dieting. Unless you are pregnant, of course. Then you would definitely say, "NINE WHOLE #*#* MONTHS!!!!" See? It works, doesn't it!
And of course, on a more serious note, if you are pregnant or breast feeding, you should NOT be on a diet unless supervised by your physician -
but that's another story.
Negative: "I am frightened that this diet might fail, just like all the others that I have been on!"
Positive: "I am NOT going to allow this diet to fail!!! I am going to bite the bullet and get the weight off
once and for all. I am totally sick of dieting every few months and never getting anywhere. This time, I AM IN CONTROL AND NOT MY TUMMY."
Remember, it's always MIND OVER TUMMY. Your tummy doesn't know what's best, but your mind certainly does. It's much smarter!
Negative "Everyone knows that I am on a diet. What are they going to say?"
Positive "Even though I want a dynamite shape and for people to go "WOW" when they see me
trimming up, I know that first and foremost is the state of my health. I want to look good, but I want to feel good, too!
Health concerns should always be THE main focus of losing weight. That is why you want to lose
weight in a healthy manner. This is another reason why....
When you gained the weight, you packed it on in a very unhealthy manner. By taking the weight off
in a HEALTHY manner, you are establishing several good things - some of which include the following...
1. A healthy eating pattern. And YES, donuts, chocolate and cheeseburgers CAN be included in a healthy diet.
It's ludicrous and ridiculous to envision living out life without fresh baked bread topped with a
smattering of real butter, or a delicious greasy cheeseburger every now and then.
These foods, considered "BIG DIET NO-NO's" by most diet gurus can be incorporated into your diet
WITHOUT weight gain, and without negatively impacting your health. No, you can't have a
cheeseburger, 3 donuts, and a lollipop every day, but you can certainly enjoy them. The key words are, "Every now and then."
2. When an individual implores a healthy diet, the weight will drop gradually at about 2 pounds per
week. Ladies, sad but so, a guy tends to lose weight at a much faster rate - so if you're a guy, that's good news!
3. By eating healthy, you are creating less stress on your body, and that is a very good thing in this
day and age with all the nonsense going on in the world. And those are things that we cannot control. We CAN control our diet.
4. About the Monkey Game. I've coached a lot of people who complain that they feel so depressed
because people judge them by how they look. Many have felt left out of the loop of life, excluded and unaccepted by others because they are overweight.
That's very sad, and very evil. At times throughout life, I really question the word "MANKIND", as
sometimes the word "KIND" is so unrelated to "MAN". Some individuals have even expressed
concerns that the people they had considered close friends had used them as a doormat when situations got tight.
Again, I'm disheartened to say that this type of situation happens to most everyone - thin or not thin.
So if or when you have these thoughts wrestle with your peace of mind, simply lay them aside.
People tend to focus on their own self, so if they are picking on you - especially because of your
weight, please don't glorify their actions by exhibiting your hurt emotions. That will only give the idiot
that is persecuting you, satisfaction and they will feel like they are even 'better than you are'.
"What am I going to do now?"
Hum...."What are you going to do now?" No more monkeying around, okay! Look at your diet as a
New Beginning. Make healthy choices. Create a body that will live longer and feel better. Put some
swing into your step and get active. Make your heart the strongest muscle in your body. These
things alone will burn up those calories. Stay focused and keep your diet FUN! It's all about making
choices. You alone have the power to change the course of your life, and know what?
YOU CAN DO